My life of religion is being dismantled. A focus on my own works is being relinquished. Replaced by a simple longing for Jesus. More surrender, less effort. More freedom, less guilt. I have not - nor will I in this life - figure it all out. It is a process of time. But I confess my "Lord, Lord" has been spoken from a heart that did not fully know Him. Falling in line with other believers, I placed my own efforts ahead of God. I was "doing it for God," as if He needed or wanted that, or as if I could prove something to people.
Then Jesus found me where I thought He would never go. Starting again, through my brokenness, something began in darkness and silence. A tiny seed, under pressure and pain, came alive in me. And I learned that this is what fruit bearing looks like. Of the Spirit, to the spirit. God within me, growing. Revealed in Jesus who became my righteousness, holiness and redemption through death and new life. A life of fruitfulness. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Pure. Peace loving. Considerate. Submissive. Full of mercy and sincerity. Hidden, but thriving in my heart.
As a branch of the Vine, this fruit of Christ in me is becoming wine, the fruit of my life being crushed to release its redeeming power. As a broken vessel, wine pours out from within me as a sweet, fragrant, flowing substance of works and obedience. Like Abraham and other heroes of the faith, that in Christ, others might be nourished, and blessings multiplied, to the glory of God.